Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Moving Day

My most intense memory is of when my parents and I moved into a house in Forest Lawn.

They had just bought it, the realtor had dropped the keys off, and for our first night, we celebrated in the living room in front of the big picture window, eating pizza with all the works, and drinking champagne. I remember my hand digging into the rough, cream colored carpet that my mother swore she'd tear up, and dodging the cork that popped off when my dad opened the bottle of champagne. I remember picking the green peppers off the pizza and hiding them in a napkin, then rolling the pizza up and biting into it.

To this day, moving still means excitement and possibilities for me. It's the same way I feel when I look at a blank piece of paper before I begin writing. I've moved a lot, I'm used to it now. A part of me even craves it, the change, the sense of surroundings completely foreign, of visiting old territory and remembering how I felt then.

One of the problems I have with moving, however, is how much stuff I bring with me. I never had a consistent home, so anything that evoked any feelings in me, was kept and shuffled along to the next place I lived.

I've been living in the same apartment for the past three years, and I've come to realize that while I might have lived alone, I definitely have enough stuff for two people. There's the three different types of bookcases, the hand me down furniture, the entertainment stand I rescued before it was thrown out...

I'm sitting in the middle of a disaster area, not sure how to get rid of all this junk, and I want to. I'm tired of looking back all the time. 

There's that record player from when I walked from the Northside with it and was scared I'd get jumped. Here's that strange two wheeled skateboard I found on the sidewalk after a really bad date. I have a box full of stuff from my last relationship that I have no idea what to do because he and I don't really talk. I mean, does he want his stay over clothes back? What do I do with all the gifts he gave me? I don't think it's healthy to keep these kinds of memories of the past, but what do I do with them?

I'm going to throw out the junk, and donate whatever else I can, because moving sucks, but it's a chance at a new beginning.

Who knows, maybe I'll even have champagne and pizza at my new place on my move in day. Just, skip the green peppers, please.

Monday, April 27, 2015

In the Gutter: War Wounds

Luckily for you guys, now that I'm off school, and at home sick, I have plenty of time to think. So of course, while hopped up on medication (I'm a lightweight when it comes to meds) I think about sex.

New topic; war wounds! Or, as some friends call them, battle scars. They are what they sound like; marks that one gets after having sex. (I won't even get into the conversation about how inappropriate these terms are.)

Now, not everyone likes having marks the day after. Some do. I remember one person describing her day at work, and how she was reaching up to a shelf, felt a twinge, and just fist pumped "YES". It was good sex. She was happy to have reminders. Hell, I would be too.

Some are not into rough stuff, so any bruises or bite marks are normally negotiated before sex begins. Or at least I hope so. (You people are getting consent and everything worked out beforehand, right?)

But sometimes things happen during sex that you are surprised to see after.

A friend of mine went to lock his door at night, and had left his shirt off. Apparently this exposed a ton of fresh scratches to his father walking behind him. Oops? Luckily his father just shook his head and walked away. (His mother, however, did not have a similiar reaction at the massive hickies on his neck. Well done.)

It's common to accidentally leave marks behind, such as scratches and hickies, and then happen upon them the next day. I'd like to hope your sex is passionate! However, if you're leaving them on purpose, like you're marking your territory, you might want to sit down with your sex partner and talk about it.

Heads up though. Hickies or scratches can feel great to give and receive. It's when you feel like you need to hide them that there's a problem.

Play nicely.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

In the Gutter: You're Doing Sex Wrong

Sex. It's supposed to be something you enjoy. Both of you. (All of you? I don't know how many people are in the bed at this point. I'm just guessing.)

A problem I've been coming (HAH) across while talking to friends has been that people assume that sex has to end in someone ejaculating. Historically speaking (considering our culture still hasn't completely decided women can orgasm [we can]) it's normally been men who bring an "end" to the session. This is a very unhealthy assumption to make about sex. I've even been hearing accounts of some women also assuming that men won't help them out in bed, so ignore their partners' needs. That just makes me angry.

What happens if no one orgasms from a sex session? Is it just foreplay? Do you no longer "count" it as real sex? Actually, that's not how it works.

Honestly, if you're being selfish in bed and only working to get yourself off, you don't deserve to have sex. That's masturbation. Do it yourself. If you have someone else in the bed with you (again, I have no idea how many people are there right now) the entire point is to make it an experience, and maybe the other person(s) will want to return.

Helping someone else to enjoy themselves is how you can figure out what you yourself like. Being selfish is not how it works. How is this so hard to understand?

Getting back to the orgasm part, not everyone needs to either. Or, neither of you do. Sex does not always mean orgasm. Do you know how hard (I'm mature.) it is to orgasm when there's a cold wind on your back, or you have a headache, or your partners' hair is tickling your nose, (or, as mentioned by a reader, you get a charlie horse) or you suddenly REALLY need to use the washroom?

Get back to enjoying the sensations, and how your partner is reacting to them. Besides, orgasms make you have to clean the sheets more. 

If people are really fucking up sex this much, it's no wonder we live in a hook up culture. No one can figure out how to do it properly.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

An Introduction to Human Rights and How We're Improving

     Human rights are easy to understand and it baffles me every single day that others don't share this opinion. What is complicated about the fact that if you are a human, you are guaranteed human rights? These rights are inalienable and universal, so even if your nonexistent neighbor Joe is an immigrant from China, he still gets the right to find work to get paid to make a living. Joe's nonexistent wife Sara has the same rights, because it doesn't matter what equipment is in your pants, your rights are worth just as much as anyone else's. (EQUALITY.) There have definitely been times where individuals have messed this very simple rule up (The Rwanda Genocide and The Holocaust are fairly obvious examples) but on the bright side, there are people in the United Nations and in nongovernmental organizations working to change this. Even better, strides are being made to rectify this problem.

     First off, the thing to remember to clearly prove that there has been progress in the realm of human rights is that there are three agreed upon generations of rights, and arguably, a fourth. These were based off the examples of the French Revolution. If you haven't heard about the French Revolution, here's a sum up for you. A bunch of people were tired of being poor, and deemed losers, attacked the people in charge (the popular kids) and ended up killing them all through a device called the guillotine, which chopped off heads as quickly as freshmen's grades drop after they turn the legal age to drink. It was an efficient device, which made the streets literally run red with blood. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, right? Well, the entire point behind the whole revolution was their motto; "libertie, egalite, fraternite", a call for liberty, equality, and fraternity. But ignore the mass killing, okay? The first generation of rights builds off these qualities during the cold War, and focuses particularly on civil and political rights, which corresponds to the idea of liberty. Ideas like the freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of press, and participation in the political process. Second generation rights are like the equality ideal with economic and social rights, which were popular ideas in socialist countries. These would include education, health care, and housing. Now the third generation (that's right, fraternity, you go Glenn Coco) deals heavily in collective and solidarity rights such as self-determination (a fancy word for a state figuring itself out and instating a government and laws and such), development, cultural preservation, and a clean environment. The argument for the fourth generation of rights is that women's rights are its own generation because the previous rights are incomplete and omits other forms of rights. I could end my argument just with this alone, but I want to tell you more about how we came this far.

     The world has come a long way in human rights. Let me break it down for you. Once upon a time (in 1215), in a faraway land of tea and crumpets, King John signed the Magna Carta, limiting the power of the throne. That seems like a good start. Then in 1689, the English Bill of Rights passed. Shortly after, famous philosopher John Locke wrote about natural rights (all humans are born free and equal). here's where it really gets interesting. In 1776 the US Declaration of Independence was signed, and things began to really snowball from there. The French Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen came into play in 1789. France abolishes slavery in 1794, and Britain follows suit 39 years later. The Geneva Convention began in 1864 and set the humanitarian standards for international law, The Hague Convention in 1899 dealing with laws of war and war crimes. Humanitarian law comes into play here. It is based on the idea that there are wrong and right ways to fight a war but that human dignity and rights should be kept preserved. The Nuremburg Charter invented the term "crimes against humanity" and first mentioned crimes against civilians. The League of Nations followed World War 1 to protect minority rights, which included the International Labor Organization (which outlasted the League of Nations). From there, we take a look at how the United Nations was established following World War 2 in 1945 and the International Bill of Rights. Women are given the vote in America in 1920, and in 1940, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was drafted by Canadian John Peters Humphrey. Also of note is the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, enacted in 1976 to encourage right to life (always important), freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and right to assembly. Another important thing to remember is the International Covenant on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights, because the ICCPR, the ICESCR, and the UDHR, are part of the International Bill of Human Rights. International criminal tribunals were formed to try those accused of genocide, war crimes, and crimes against humanity. The International Criminal Court was a thing beginning in 2002.

     When the United Nations instated the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, it was supposed to strive for the recognition and observance of human rights. This group has some terrible commitment issues to this goal, because they are afraid of state sovereignty. This is basically a mind your own business rule, where the UDHR doesn't really have any legal rights to interfere, BUT they do have sanctions they can take against a state misbehaving. These sanctions can include trade sanctions, where they can petition other states not to deal with the misbehaving state for goods, trade, services, or any type of market. The more extreme version of sanctions that can happen is the law of just war, where the state in question is attacked as a last resort only.

     Before any terrible action movie plots can happen to justify implementation or sanctions (I'm looking at you, James Bond), one of the points to recognize is that cultural relativism is a thing. Just because one thing is accepted by a society doesn't mean that a different society agrees with it. Commonly it's Eastern vs Western cultural values that butt heads, and compromises the "universal" aspect of human rights. There have been some occasions where values line up like in the example of mass genocides such as the Holocaust, or the Rwanda genocide, but on issues that aren't directly linked to murder, there can be differences of opinion. Not to mention there is the whole argument of one individual's rights versus a collectives' rights, but that's a whole other can of worms.

     Society is told that hindsight is 20/20, and Canada is a great example of this concerning human rights violations. We take pride in our reputation as peace keepers, but we've messed up. We denied the vote to women (as a woman, I really disapprove of this), and made harsher laws concerning immigration such as charging Chinese head taxes just to enter the country. I could talk about how we jailed Japanese Canadians during World War II, or if we're really talking about Canadian pride, how we have treated Aboriginals (the people who were Canadian before the rest of us decided it was cool) but I'd prefer we focus on the positive. Like how we've improved!

     Some of the work to improve human rights developments includes the American Convention on Human Rights, similar to the UN, the acknowledgment of sexual minorities in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not to mention the impact that nongovernmental organizations such as Amnesty International, and social activists have had. Clearly we've learned from our mess ups, and we're still improving even now. If even a politician like Michael Ignatieff (a known critic of the era of "Pearson peacekeeping") can acknowledge our progress world wide, we must be doing great!