Why I Need to Pass in my Geek Card

"Okay, you need to pass in your Geek card."

If you have ever heard this, it's normally in response to you not knowing, or not liking something that another person believes to be common or needed knowledge in what was previously considered indie. Which means independent, or not mainstream. (Nutty: It is NOT a genre of music. Get it right!)

For me, it gives me a brief moment of mind numbing panic before wondering if I'm going to be shamed any more.

Here, let me explain.

Geek refers to a person that is normally rather intellectual, who is heavily interested in a hobby.

Nerd is someone described as being overly intellectual, obsessive, or socially impaired, that spends high amounts of time on activities excluding mainstream practices.

Gamers are those who spend most of their leisure time playing or learning about games.

Okay, there is no way any of those can be applied to me.

I don't focus on one activity or hobby to the point of excluding most others, I do not ignore mainstream activities  and I definitely don't spend a large amount of time on games.

I like dipping my toe into the pool, and seeing exactly how much I want to swim in one direction or the other.

And by that, I mean, I don't have a background knowledge of video games or comic books. I play/read the ones I like, and if I'm recommended others, I'll try them, to narrow down what else I like.

My background in anime started with Sailor Moon, Digimon and Pokemon. But, TV Shows are only on at a certain amount of time, and I wasn't always interested in being in front of the TV at said time.

With Anime, I discovered Manga. Perfect! I could carry a book around and enjoy the stories I wanted to! Of course, certain stories go out of print, or are hard to get a hold of.

Which introduced me to card games such as Yu Gi Oh and Pokemon to pass the time! From there it was a hop skip and a jump to video games, cosplaying, LARP-ing, and most recently, I'm dabbling in comic books.

Of course there's plenty of other topics in there, like my strange inability to be a good collector of anything other than book series, coffee mugs, and cats, and the fact that I only just 2 hours ago discovered what "Tokusatsu" was.

I can't write about this stuff! I feel like I don't know the first thing about all this sometimes!

See? See what I mean?

All I'm trying to say is, shut up! Can I not just like what I want without you people making a flip or glib comment on my ability to live under a rock? Since when does a community based on being individual feel the gorramn need to stick a label on everyone?

So live and let live, and stop telling others what to like and what not to like.

Jeez!

(Damn right I used a Firefly reference.)

Courtly Love vs Chivalry

I'm feeling a little ranty and ragey this morning because I made the mistake of reading this.

It basically talks about how the writer held an "undercover experiment" to see if chivalry was dead, by holding a box in front of a door to see who would open it for her.

She only counted the men who did or did not, and therein lies my problem.

So, for convenience' sake, I'm just going to copy/paste this right here.

Chivalry, or the chivalric code, is the traditional code of conduct associated with the medieval institution of knighthood. Chivalry arose from an idealized German custom.^[1] It was originally conceived of as an aristocratic warrior code — the term derives from the French term for horseman — involving honor, gallantry, and individual training and service to others. Over time its meaning has been refined to emphasize more ideals such as knightly virtues, honor, courtly love, courtesy, and less martial aspects of the tradition.
The Knight's Code of Chivalry was a moral system that stated all knights should protect others who can not protect themselves, such as widows, children, and elders. All knights needed to have the strength and skills to fight wars in the Middle Ages. Knights not only had to be strong but they were also extremely disciplined and were expected to use their power to protect the weak and defenseless. Knights vowed to be loyal, generous, and "of noble bearing". Knights were required to tell the truth at all times and always respect the honour of women. Knights not only vowed to protect the weak but also vowed to guard the honor of all fellow knights. They always had to obey those who were placed in authority and were never allowed to refuse a challenge from an equal. Knights lived by honor and for glory. Knights were to fear God and maintain His Church. Knights always kept their faith and never turned their back on a foe. Knights despised pecuniary reward. They persevered to the end in any enterprise begun.^[2] Essentially, a chivalric knight is a Christian military soldier. "Certain law" stated a man must be a baptized Catholic in order to become a knight.^[1]Historian Johan Huizinga remarks in his book The Waning of the Middle Ages, "the source of the chivalrous idea, is pride aspiring to beauty, and formalized pride gives rise to a conception of honour, which is the pole of noble life."^[3]The term chivalry is sometimes also used to refer to the medieval mounted men-at-arms with whom this code was associated.

All right, ladies. Please note. When you expect men to open doors for you, it is a part of COURTLY LOVE and COURTESY.

If you can open that damn door yourself because you reach it first, do so. It's courtesy to keep it open for whoever else passes through after you, whether you are male or female.

If you're looking for someone to constantly open doors for you, carry all your heavy lifting, and profess their love in flowery phrase, you're looking for a "white knight". (FYI in all the old stories, he's a hero and normally dies because he upholds everyone's honor to a tee.)

I asked a question of my Facebook fans, what they thought chivalry was, two people said it was dead, and four people said it was a concept of honor and courtesy towards all. (And one joker who picked "the one that least fit", which was "when men open doors and carry heavy things for women".)

I have personally always thought of chivalry as common courtesy. Why would you not hold doors open for someone if you reach it first? I've extended this courtesy to men and women. It's considerate, and I personally think everyone should be doing it.

As for the moral system part of it, helping others who can't help themselves, I've always equated that to bullying, or people going through a hard time. You help them. It doesn't need a fancy title, it just seems to me like something people should do on a regular basis.

As for respecting womens' honor, I personally believe that means respecting them as human beings, and treating them as such.

So, according to what I think of chivalry, it's not dead at all. And I can carry my own bags, thanks.

"You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Hungry"

I've started and restarted this blog entry, trying to find the right words, the ones that get across my feelings. It's harder to do than you can imagine.

See, I don't like doing anything half assed. I blame my father for that. He was always on me, constantly pushing me, forcing me to put my all into things that I do. My mother was always right behind him, reminding me that whatever I want to do, I can.

My mother put the idea into my head, my father forced the hard work out of it.

What I'm trying so hard to do, is to describe how I get my motivation to do anything. Someone praised me for it recently, telling me that they wished they had my work ethic, telling me that if they did half the work I did as a volunteer, they'd be paid a lot more than they are. *cough* Elise *cough*.

The thing is, I put so much hard work into it, because I have a personal attachment to what I'm doing. I care deeply about them. So deeply, that I immerse my feelings into my projects, and that gives me the motivation to push all that I can, past the point where most would be burnt out.

I do a lot of volunteer work. I'm a Marketing Coordinator for a local nonprofit radio station. I'm the person in charge of Promotions for Fredericton's Ovarian Cancer Canada Mini Walk of Hope. I also volunteer with Cat Rescue Maritimes, and I've even adopted a cat from them.

These are all so important to me, and I have very strong feelings about my projects for all of these groups.

You see, so many bands struggle, and I've seen it up close in action, when I lived above one in 2007. They put a lot of hard work and effort and dreams into what they're doing, and my creative side just recognizes that. I want to help those with the drive and the ambition to make it, and get their sound out there. Being at CHSR FM not only helps me help them, but provides those musicians with that sense of community and acceptance that they need. Seeing them accomplish their goals is one of the best feelings in the world.

Cancer has a tendency to run in my family. And, as much as I would like to donate all my money to further cancer research, I simply can't. But, when I was offered the opportunity to donate my time to help Ovarian Cancer Canada fund raise and organize events, I jumped at the chance. Both my grandparents are in remission. I want others to know the hope of getting a second chance at time with their family.

I have always been a big cat lover. I've even been called a cat many times by people who know me. One of my barely thought out ideas was to open a cat shelter when I was older, to help all the stray cats in Fredericton. When I found out about Ca-R-Ma, I called them up and asked how I could help.

Now, I do own a cat shelter. My own apartment. I was given all three of my cats, (Chloe, Saga and Athena) and I'll probably end up getting a fish and a bird soon too.

As you've obviously noticed from this blog, I'm also an avid writer. It's not always the case. I have a busy life (obviously) and while sometimes ideas pop up, I don't always have the time or patience to figure them out.

Writing is my way to express my feelings, whether happy, sad, or angry at that time. So when I write, it can never be half assed for me, and that's my motivation. I need to put my all into it. Which means all my emotions.

So there's a scary thought for you; I write out my emotions, and I always put 110% into it.

Just imagine what I could end up doing if you make me angry.

"Happy Enough"

"But I felt happy enough. And that was enough, right?
That night in the parking lot, I realized it wasn't. It wasn't enough to be "happy enough." We're all in this together, yes, but the idea that this is all there is can't be true. Life can't just be about chasing down highs and collecting material things, making it through each day and then...that's it. There's got to be more.
Because if there isn't, that makes all of this as unimportant as that man was to all those people. And I just don't buy that.
We don't just stay here for a period of time, accomplish a life's worth of random tasks, then die. How hopeless is that? No. The point of all this is the destination.
And that makes everything important."

If you're curious where that came from, look here.


Now, so many thoughts ran through my mind in response to this article, but what I really settled on was my writing.

Why did that come up, do you wonder?

Well, when I was a child growing up, I didn't have a perfect existence. I was bullied, and I didn't have an ideal home situation, as rarely do people ever.

What I did have were books.

I could be there as a normal girl learned how to be brave, and meet fantastical creatures like unicorns (Bruce Coville's "The Song of the Wanderer") or even learn firsthand about discrimination against different alien races (K.A. Applegate's "The Hork Bajir Chronicles").
I saw how strong horses could be, and how they encourage their riders to be just as strong (Marguerite Henry's "Misty of Chincoteague") and I learned that being true to yourself, whoever you chose to be, would win you true friends who cared for you. (Any and ALL of Tamora Pierce's books. Man, I love that author.)

I enjoy writing. I LOVE writing. It makes me happy to be able to get out all my neuroses by tapping into how someone else could feel, faced with the same issue, and how they would react in opposite ways.

Book reading is still one of my favorite activities, but writing is now my escape.

When I write, I want to touch everyone inside, and make them think for just a little bit, that life is good, it's great to be them, the hard times are just that; hard times. I want to provide a way for them to learn or remember their own strength. I want them to reflect on their decisions. I want to provoke thought and learning and self bettering, not for anyone else, but for that one person to want to excel at whatever it is they desire.

One of the best things about books is that my favorite writers (Bruce Coville, Tamora Pierce, Kelley Armstrong, Margaret Atwood) were able to give me a place to hide and recover and give me hope. They also gave me the idea that whatever I work at, I can succeed at.

As a writer, I want to touch someone else's life like that. I succeed once, then it was all worth it, and that one person will hopefully pay it forward.

Maybe I'm doing it for that scared little girl who hid inside her books during lunch hour, when the bullies learned they could push her around, maybe I'm doing it for the girl she turned into, when she found inner strength, maybe I'm doing it for all the scared and hurting kids who need an escape, when they just need a break from the world.

If that's "happy enough" for me, I can't imagine being any happier in life. This is what is important to me.