10 things I have learned since returning to University

1. It doesn't matter how early I wake up, it doesn't actually mean I'll be more productive.

It just means I'll have less time to sleep and less quiet time at night to think, reflect on the day, and unwind. I don't care about how many blogs tell me I'll be so much more productive if I wake up at 5 am. I still wind up taking a three hour long nap around 6 pm and end up staying awake too late anyways.

2. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I dislike 99% of people that I get to know more.

I'm serious. You think you know someone, until you peel back a layer, and then you think, "oh wow, this person is terrible". Or, maybe I just know too many terrible people who annoy the hell out of me. Or, I'm just easily annoyed.

3. I take a little while to warm up to people.

I only really just now started talking to my classmates and picking out which ones I think are cool, and which I'd love to deep six into cement. I know, I know, I have a hard time opening up.

4. I've discovered that hot drinks really do make me calmer.

Which explains why I'm running low on chamomile, and I have to run to the bathroom every hour on the dot. I've been pretty stressed out lately.

5. I really am too hard on myself.

Granted, my counselor also told me this today. I expect so much of myself that I'm constantly pushing, and getting upset when I don't do as well as I want. I'm starting to finally realize that while it's good to take pride in my work, it's great to give myself a little leeway every so often.

6. A big part of me believes that we are always alone, no matter what.

Apologies for that depressing statement. But, it's just how I feel.

7. I really miss comfort reading. Like, a lot.

Academia is interesting, and I love learning. But I do miss the days where I could just lay in bed and pour over one of my favorite books, or discover a new one.

8. Writing is still me.

Even now, when I'm feeling alone and lost and unsure of myself, I turn to writing. It is probably the only part of my soul that will never change. Even when I was sinking into depression, writing was what pulled me out. Granted, I couldn't write, but the thought that I might not write again was what started pulling me out. Which leads me to my next thought...

9. Journalistic writing is actually something that does appeal to me.

When I first went to university, I thought the last thing I wanted to do was be a journalist. I thought the news was boring, I didn't like being told to swallow my opinion, and honestly, I was too lazy to want a high pressure life like that. That was in 2007. It's 7 years and some change later, and I practically live and breathe journalism. It's disturbing. All my friends tell me so. Now, writing an article gives me a thrill, getting that interview is an adrenaline rush, and the thought that I might have gotten an angle before the local paper thought of it? Exhilarating. Although I still don't like the idea of swallowing my opinion sometimes. I have a big mouth.

10. Romantic comedies are full of shit.

It doesn't matter which one you see. Sometimes, even awesome relationships don't work out. Maybe you're both so busy, that spending time together damages your progress. Maybe you start to drift apart. In a rom com, there's some amazing Big Gesture that makes it all right, and they live happily ever after. Well, in real life, you have to be a functional adult, sit down and ask yourself what your needs and wants are and if they're getting met. And if they're not, you have to let the other person know. If nothing changes, the relationship ends. If you aren't realistic about the future, and what you might want in it, or what you might be able to handle, then you'll bring yourself a lot of grief. You know why? Because asking people to change is unacceptable, and you should never date someone you want to change. The fact of the matter is, you just end up alone again. So romantic comedies are bullshit, and it will be a long while before I'll watch one again.