"Hey, what story are you working on right now?"
I examine my glass like it holds the secrets to the universe, then take another sip before replying.
"It's summer. I'm on vacation."
I don't tell them how, seconds ago, an ambulance passed by and I switched to my Twitter to see where they were heading. I don't tell them how, when a cop car started honking at my friends' car to get out of the way and went to arrest two obviously drunk individuals, that I immediately went to unbuckle my seat belt in a half made attempt to get out of the car and take a video.
I don't tell them how, when I heard of the news from Moncton, I froze up, and considered a road trip.
Yes, I'd just be in the way, yes, it would make me cannon fodder, yes, there are dozens of journalists there right now who are most likely much more capable of covering the story and not being a liability. We all need people there who know how to do their jobs, not half seasoned student journalists who need to focus on their on camera work. Someone needs to inform the watching world about what's going on, and it's not me at this place in time.
But the worst part of this for me is the need to do something to help, and knowing I'm helping more by not interfering.
Journalism is why I scan media feeds almost hourly every day. Journalism is why I started to overcome my social anxiety enough to approach strangers. Journalism is why when I read the story about the journalist who snapped the picture of the shooter in Moncton, I beamed with pride at his accomplishment, and knew he was thinking in the back of his head "I wonder if I couldn't have gotten a better picture?"
Journos are an interesting, tightly knit group. We might not all get along especially well, but there is a high degree of mutual respect there, and when one of us succeeds, we all want to give them a high five.
Journalism means a weekend reporter staying up all night to collect news on a shooting. Journalism means texting a friend to ensure that they know they should cancel that trip they were going to make today. Journalism means advising people where to go for updates and shelter.
I started going to taekwondo regularly when I was accepted to the Journalism programme at my university. This doesn't seem related, but please stay with me. I go walking quite a bit. I hike, attempt to eat healthy, and do an obnoxious amount of crunches and squats, because the stats for violence and abuse for reporters and journalists are quite high, especially for women, and I wanted a layer of self defense to rely on. This is a dangerous profession, and in high risk situations, journalists are required to be there, putting themselves at risk.
One of my professors mentioned some of the horror stories briefly. A reporter pulled into an alleyway and raped repeatedly by a crowd. A journalist having to leave the scene of an event because they were being targeted by the angry crowd. Recently, reporters were accosted while shooting clips for a story about a protest. Confronted by an angry group, they were forced to leave their equipment behind, and had to flee from the area. Death threats because of stories that went out to the public.
Don't delude yourself. This is not the safest of career choices.
I think people today get media and journalism and press confused quite a bit. I'm not blaming them. I do too. But maybe, in between the one person here or there, cursing at the news, you could remember that journalists are not soulless. That there are people we love in harm's way as well. That some of us are just doing a job, some of us are just following a passion, and some of us are trying to help in the best way we know how.
So I want to offer my support to all the professionals and volunteers helping out at the scenes. To the RCMP, the police, the news crews, the Red Cross, and anyone else involved, as well as residents staying inside out of the way of the shooter, we all hope this situation ends soon, with no further loss or hurt, because there has been too much already.
