News aggregaters have been going slightly NSFW but this year, January really takes the cake for headlines that made me do a double take.
So without further ado, three of those headlines that worked better as clickbait than the line "You'll be amazed at what happened next"!
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| I regret my curiosity. |
1) Guy Trashes "Spiritual" Girlfriend's Car After Granny Dildo Sex Prophecy
This headline was a doozy, and I still have a headache puzzling through it. Of course, it comes from Gawker.
Long story short, a man trashed his girlfriend's car blaming her for sexual dreams he had involving his grandmother. He claims it was her fault because she's spiritual. I don't know where they got the prophecy part of the headline. I don't particularly want to either.
The link is found here.
2) What it's like to date your Dad
Okay, this is a serious article about a condition that does happen to a significant portion of the worlds' population. This information aside, I would diagnose this article as one big pile of ick.
A young woman (18) is currently in a relationship with her father, which includes sexual activities. This came about when they were separated since she was young and found each other again on Facebook. They met to reconnect, and I cannot complete this sentence without cringing. Apparently few people can make it through the article before their overwhelming cringing becomes too much. I have read through it, and now contain information I would like to bleach out of my mind.
The link is here, if you're curious.
3) Wife chops off cheating husband’s penis twice – then stray animal steals it
This article made me seek out happy films and chocolate. That poor man.
So a man was texting his lover with his wife's phone, she found out, (duh) and cut off his penis while he slept. When he was in the hospital after it was reattached, the wife snuck in and cut it off again, then threw it out the window, where it disappeared, and it was guessed an animal stole it.. The husband became so enraged he began to beat her, naked, and covered in blood. Apparently his lover is very supportive, and stays at his bedside.
(NOTE: Some have asked how it was possible to re-attach the penis. As long as the cut is clean, not ragged, it is possible. If the cut was not clean, like say someone ripped it off with their teeth [this happened in an episode of Greys Anatomy] then reattachment would be impossible.)
Link is here.
I am now off to watch Hayao Miyazaki movies to attempt to regain some of my childhood innocence.
