My first interaction with someone who was in the process of becoming a different gender was my mother's friend Sonya when I was twelve.
Sonya was very tall, had muscles I envied, and long blond tightly braided hair. Her color of choice to wear was normally pink, which I personally couldn't agree with (I was quite the tomboy) and her skin held a tan much better than my own. Her voice was deeper than most women I knew of, and I could have sworn she had a 3 o'clock shadow, like Dad did. (Back when he shaved regularly, anyway.)
I remember asking my mom about it, and she explained to me that Sonya used to be a man, but felt more comfortable being a woman. I remember retorting (much to my parents' embarrassment and Sonya's entertainment) "What's so great about being a woman? We have periods and end up getting knocked up and there's never any cool clothes like the guys get to wear."
Obviously I've gotten over those feelings (although I still have a distaste for pink) and I'm finally happy in my own skin.
But there, I'm happy in my own skin. Isn't that why people are deciding that they are no longer male or female? They're not happy in their own skin.
I would be the first to stand up and agree that pretending to be something you're not can be one of the worst things to have to deal with. Imagine having to deal with that every day, with something as important to society as your gender.
We seem to be so fixated on it. At birth, boys are given blue and girls are given pink, to differentiate them. They start growing up, and boys get jeans, girls get skirts. A few more years down the road, girls get dolls and boys get trucks. For my fourth birthday, my parents gave me a little plastic kitchen to play with, and I was upset because I wanted one of those Nerf guns so I could shoot my friends. (I was a violent little thing. I obviously didn't care for the assumed girl toys, either.)
First, I'd like to share a popular picture on the internet that makes a lot of sense.
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| Makes me snicker every time I read it. |
Really, people. Let the kids play with what they want. What do you care? They're kids. Remember when they used to only play with boxes or stacked things to create a building? They're toys, meant to entertain. If they're entertaining your kid, or someones' kids, they're doing their job. That's the point. Move on, you irritating idiot. Stop complaining about pointless crap.
I've also heard as a comment that this "transgender thing is just a phase". I've also heard that about bisexuality and gay and lesbianism. (Please correct me if my tenses for any of these are incorrect.) Listen, for some it may indeed be a phase. We don't come to know who we are without experimentation and finding out what we do and do not like. But that is for that person to decide, not for your big flapping gob to spew out.
Yes, there are children deciding they aren't happy being the gender they were born with. That's perfectly okay and understandable considering the world we live in today. Let them figure it out, support them along the way, and keep your poison to yourself. It is not okay to treat children like crap because of your own opinions. Ever.
There's also the religious opinion that God made us as we are now, and changing His work is sinful. Please note; according to the Bible, He gave us free will as well, to make our own decisions, and loves us no matter what we do. Like a parent should. Not a hard concept to understand. So why is it so hard for some to remember? (Not to mention the fact that if He is truly omniscient, then he already knows what is going to happen during your lifetime, which then encourages the idea that yes, he really is okay with people being who they are, regardless of what society thinks.)
I've heard some people comment that this was never a problem before, so why is it now? (I've actually heard "This transgender thing never existed before, why does it now? It's just a phase.")
Racism was never "a problem" until people demanded equal rights for all. Sexism was never "a problem", until people demanded equal rights for all. Prejudice was definitely NEVER a problem, until those who were gay, bisexual or questioning decided they wanted to damn well be with who they want.
Yes, there's absolutely no problems with our society. Except for the fact that we don't treat everyone equally and we should.
This, you ignoramuses, is a problem now, because people are important no matter who they are and they deserve to be treated with respect. Why are these issues coming up now? Because we've actually done some progress in equal rights, and more and more people refuse to be taken as anything other than who they are.
Flat out, asking someone to pretend to be someone or something they're not, to make society happy is just too much.
It's a good start, but we need to do more.
A comment from one of the readers and some clarifications for all:
ReplyDelete"In the vast majority of cases it isn't 'deciding one is no longer male or female' but being open that one is male or female (or androgynous or agender or...) despite what they might have been assigned at birth.
In the same way it isn't they are unhappy with the gender they were born with but the sex they were assigned. Assigned sex is 'it's a boy!/it's a girl!' as said by doctors/family/society - gender is who you are."
gender isn't binary, and we need to stop thinking it is. Sexuality isn't binary either. This was an issue before, there are stories in history of people living outside of their assigned gender, this isn't new. Nothing is new, we just talk about it now.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I have been seeing more and more of is nulls, people who don't identify with any gender. I think people are so focused on gender that it creates a pressure. Just do what you like and live.
My niece often talks about being a tomboy, the more I hear this term the more it bothers me.
tom·boy
/ˈtämˌboi/
Noun
A girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys.
WTF? Using the term agrees that girls can't be rough or noisy, that climbing trees or playing ball is a boy thing. They aren't boy things, boys who don't do them aren't any less of boys as girls who do them aren't less of a girl.
What do we call the boy who likes to wear pink? The boy who doesn't like loud noises or getting dirty? He isn't less of a boy.