Uh, writing about it, I mean. Yeah. >.>”
I've come across some people on my university campus who have said something along the lines of “I know you! You wrote the Sexuality column last year! I loved reading it!”
Thank you, thank you very much. /elvis
Honestly, I do kind of miss writing the column, and I find it was a great motivational tool to improve my writing overall, so I've decided I'm going to bring it back, but only on this personal blog of mine.
The tones this year will be a little different, because, as some of you know, I was in a committed long term relationship last year when I was writing this column. But I will happily bug the crap out of my happily (or not so happily) taken friends in order to bring you the best responses to your questions, queries, and problems.
Spoiler alert; yes, yes I will eventually write about buttsex.
But today, we'll start off slow, with the strangest query I expected to hear from some people; how do you get a partner?
*snorts* I am single. Holy crap, why are you asking me? Clearly I done fucked up somewhere along the road.
All right, all right. Listen, my personal opinion is you should be happy spending time with yourself. Think Gerard Butler in “The Ugly Truth” (you totally watched it, shut up) when he says to Katherine Heigl's character, “Because if you don't wanna have sex with you, why would Colin?”
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| "You just want to watch, dude." |
True story. Except apply it to yourself in matters other than sexytimes. Confidence is really key for this kind of thing. Establish yourself, who you are, what you're interested in, and when a possible partner comes along, you'll know what you consider desirable in a relationship. And what gives you red flags, and sends you running for the hills.
I'm not going to lie and say this is an easy thing. I have terrible luck with dating. I'm normally the person who just straight up says shit like “Hey, I like you. Let's go out.” It's effective, but not really all that romantic, and let me tell you, the times I were rejected were not fun. But it tended to work. It was how I ended up dating my last boyfriend.
Now, the next problem in this scenario is you're interested in someone, they're interested in you, or at least seem to be, but you don't know how to take it to the next step. I'm going to admit straight up that I can't help you out here, because I am having this problem myself. I'm old fashioned in that I think you have to go through the bases in chronological order (you know, kiss, grope, under clothes grope, home run) but a few people have completely shot that idea down. One of my coworkers flat out told me that she tends to get to first base after second base. Not going to lie, I'm likely going to try this route next time I get the person alone. #noshame But really, most of the time, I find it just tends to happen.
As for the progressing into a relationship, I still can't offer any sound advice, other than to be clear with the person about whether you're looking for something casual or something more. If you don't spell it out for them, you're going to run into complications, and one or both of you are going to end up hurt and angry.
Phew. That was a tad painful. Next week, can y'all ask me easier questions? Pretty please?
See you all next Thursday!
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