A Bright Eyed Skeptic

I was attempting to complete some homework for my political science course, when the author mentioned a situation in which he described two different personality types. These were; "a bright eyed student, whom shyness has never been a problem," and the student who exudes an air of hard nosed worldly wisdom."

I realized this triggered something, and I just. Needed. To. Write.

I've been much busier than I would like lately. When I haven't been hopping from class to class to work, I've been studying or working on CHSR stuff. Which is fine. It's important. These things still matter to me.

However, I've begun to notice that I have flat out not been socializing with friends, and that I haven't given myself time to really relax as much as usual. I haven't been working out, I've barely been eating, and when I do, it's crap stuff that makes me feel terrible, and I haven't been writing about it.

I feel lately like I am a bright eyed skeptic. I am highly motivated, eager, energetic, but at the back of my head, as I'm going through the motions, all I can think is: "Man, this is a waste of my time. I'd rather be at home right now sleeping in."

I don't actually think it's a waste of my time. But I am really craving that time that makes me less cranky. Less prone to those moments where I want to toss my hands in the air and say "Nope."

I was at an appointment today and I was told to just sit for a few minutes. I was detached from my phone, my homework, my laptop, and any source of stimulation other than some calming music in the corner.

It was the second most relaxing activity I'd done all month. (The first being relaxing snuggles with my SO.)

So I got to thinking. Is it time to maybe center myself again by limiting myself from doing anything for at least an hour every day? Put the phone on silent, hide away the laptop, stick some calming music on, and do absolutely gloriously nothing, but stare out the window at that damned pretty tree outside my window?

Will this calm down the crankiness in the morning? The incessant desire to punch people out that are bothering me just by talking to me? The temptation to bang my head on the desk in the middle of class?? Will it tone down on the skepticism and bring out that bright eyed bubbly self I know I can be?

All I know is if I don't start handing stressers off to other people, I am most likely going to flip the world the bird, and walk off into the sunset muttering "NOPENOPENOPE!"

The Oatmeal just gets me.